Rough on yourself

Rough on yourself
 
I was rough on God in my youth,
proud and brittle, unforgiving.
 
A God who dared to reign imperially 
over this sad, chaotic world
 
(into which I was dropped without my consent).
A world of consequences –
 
fear, pain, struggle and grief. 
Now my Lord is telling me (in His silence)
 
to live these latter days in childlike abandon;  
each shimmering morning open myself up 
 
to go where God and the day will take me.
My days are dimming now, numbered and subdued. 
 
He’s urging me to take   
just what I am given, what I am due,
 
to yield and accept, to receive and not invent –
without judgment, analysis or desire.
 
O child of God, don’t be so rough on yourself.
You are His ever-holy creature and creation.