After any willful moment now,
by thought, word or deed, promptly
I wag a finger at myself
asking for the Lord's forgiveness.
A soul-essential endeavor, perhaps,
but not the way of effacement -
not while my unruffled ego remains unchecked,
side-stepping any real diminution by a surrogate
partaking of my confession, contrition and absolution.
I'm learning the rudiments of abnegation
and I pledge my most diligent efforts
(or perhaps, it requires a cessation of effort)
but my only faith is in His grace
to remove me from this ancient, impossible snare.
O child of God, the Buddhist compare it
to the washing away of blood with blood.
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