The quandary of life itself

The quandary of life itself                                                                          
 
You must move on from regret
for the life you’ve lived
 
(wrote an medieval mystic)
to regret that you were ever born
 
(while conceding it to be God’s will).
Feel deeply the sorrow not just for what you are,
 
but that you are (and so many lifetimes have been) –
a creature incapable of Love.  You must feel
 
and know sorrow for the quandary of life itself,
not merely for the role you play in it,
 
not because you question God’s game
but to fix in your heart all the more
 
the wish never to be born again;
to allow the light of grace and favor
 
to remove forever this shadow which is you
and in which you have been for ages dwelling.
 
O child of God, illusion is a realm
where not one thing is good and true.