A hopeless tangle

A hopeless tangle                                                                                             
 
Birdlike gestures of long ago
pulling love out of thin air,
 
slender fingers pointing to the truth,
are now unraveling the tight little knots of lies
 
I have told myself over a lifetime,
presented to the world as being who I am.
 
At the same time, in a lower register,
plucking delicately at my heart strings,
 
assuring me it’s His hands unveiling my naked self,
affording me a courage I would not otherwise  have.
 
His Hands exposing the deep shame of my being
a volatile, makeshift creature, a hopeless tangle      
 
of anxieties that never quite coalesced
into one steady, whole, abiding self.
 
Lord, don’t let me die holding these frayed ends,
carrying these bindings into yet another lifetime
 
but unravel my falsity down to its empty core.
Disentangle me from the ages-old web of my illusions.
 
O child of God, find the faith and equanimity
to allow the Avatar to do His work.