Book-learning
I’m
all caught up on my book-learning –
exterior
evidence; second-hand Truth.
All
I have of the Mystery
is
a satchel full of words –
inspiring
tales that I have read or heard,
concepts
I have contemplated and surmised.
Truth
has never jumped off the page at me
though
sometimes it clangs an underwater bell
or
strikes an eclectic chord,
touches
an ecstatic nerve –
something
that might give
a
seeker a bit of forbidden hope.
But
I will most likely, at this late date,
go
to my grave, Meher Baba as my Lord,
hopelessly
clinging to all my slipshod constructs,
seeking
from words far more than words could ever tell.
O
child of God, you will attain the Truth
at the precise moment
of your appointed destiny.
Pretend
game
Meher
referred to existence as the divine game –
but not
a contest; not a flag to capture.
A
pretend game. A masquerade.
And once
you find yourself
a
mandated participant, the only course left
is to
play your role best you can.
The only
way, apparently,
to bow
out is to make that
holy,
hair’s-breadth shift of perspective
where
every moment you act
not for
the moment but for the eternal,
ever
aware of the pretense, recognizing
yourself
and your fellow players
under
the make-up and costumes to be
none
other than God playing solitaire,
God the
great ubiquitous pretender.
O child
of God, follow the clues as best you can
until you are able to see through the charade.
The
fate that awaits you
Once
you see the truth,
there’s
no turning back.
You
might hover a while
near
the old haunts,
going
through the motions,
acting
out your appointed role
before
you confront yourself
and
the truth that there is no sweetness left,
not
because the well is dry
but
because the truth is different
and
deeper than you ever could have imagined
and
it compels you now to faithfully allow
a
change in direction, a change in yourself,
to
remain obediently true to the fate that awaits you.
O
child of God, the real search begins when first you sense
the depths of yourself and the inevitability
of the goal.
(drawing by Rich Panico)
The
scriptures of the heart
Standing
on the carousel,
having
ditched my golden steed,
looking
outward at the spinning world,
(as
usual) expounding to the crowd.
My
incoherence met with glazed eyes, quizzical brows.
Every
written word I once practiced
and
preached as gospel, I now profess
to
be beyond my ken, beyond my authority to espouse.
Each
time-worn ritual, sacred icon striking me now
as
rudimentary, external and conceptual;
the
preparatory substitute for a genuine,
interior
communion and fealty. Maybe it’s humility
that
has stolen my tongue or perhaps, futility,
as
round and round I go, amidst the glaring lights,
the
distant shouts and clamor of the midway –
the
hawkers, the carnies and the rubes.
O
child of God, turn your back on this gaudy world
and endeavor to read
the scriptures of the heart.
