A
lifelong oddity
Friends
and relations explore the realm –
beaches,
mountains; parks and trails;
venture
onto foreign lands. I remain
ensconced
in my house, in my small town,
in
my good old body while it’s still around.
They
speed away on wheels and rails
to
explore the abundance. I explore the
lack;
my
eyes turned backwards inside my head.
They
enjoy. I ponder what value
joy
has in this ephemerality.
My
friends and relations encourage me
to
join in the fun; to be more like them.
I
don’t know enough to explain it.
The
best I can say is
I’m
trying to hold myself still as possible
while
the doctor removes the bullet.
O
child of God, you are a lifelong oddity,
no longer pretending
to be otherwise.
White
light
These
days, I tend to give people
the
silent treatment
which
is just as well,
since
I can’t seem
to
get a word in edgewise.
People
ask for my opinion,
usually
in order to give me theirs.
Then
we sit around
and
pat each other on the back,
or
they give me the cold shoulder.
I
hold my tongue
because
I have no answers
(and
neither do they).
So
I offer them silence
hoping
it might be contagious.
I
have it on good authority
that
silence contains all the Truth we need,
the
way white light contains all the colors.
O
child of God, true silence is what you have left
after the long-sought
end to neti, neti.
Junior
partner
Years
of being a junior partner
and
I’ve yet to learn how
to
be about my Father’s business;
to
engage in that most holy of occupations –
abiding
in the eternal now.
Instead,
I neglect my duties;
study
the countdown clock,
while
my thoughts roam
like
a lost kite among the random winds
of
memory and imagination.
And
once the work day’s done,
I
leave it all at the office.
How
much of my Father’s business
do
I squander daily, weekly, yearly
in
the habitual avoidance and neglect
of
my God-given chores?
O
child of God, everything has been taken into account,
including your
inability to stay on task.
Old
fetishes
The
world (per Lao Tzu) is gained by daily loss,
loss
upon loss until at last comes rest.
Neti,
neti sounds a bit daunting in practice
but
properly applied, it offers the great reward
of
seeing through and past old fetishes,
abandoning
hope after hope after hope,
as
the thick tangle of each binding
becomes
suddenly transparent
and
then shatters into nothingness.
While
little Truth is gained, multiple illusions
are
detected and then discarded
and
it feels like progress, gradual but certain –
an
unburdening, one step in ten thousand
nearer
to emptiness, stillness and silence.
O
child of God, subdue your tongue
but allow your pen to
freely flow.
