Try to try

Try to try                                                                                           

Two ways, my Lord says, to love God –

renounce the world; own nothing  (including yourself)

or live in the world, putting everyone else

ahead of you in the queue. 

That lets me out – no way for me

to love God.  Not this lifetime.

Eruch said, try to try.  Try to try.

That’s my this-time lifetime – try to try, try to try.

Splendidly flawed, perfectly dear

near ones ecstatically drawing tears

from my world-weary eyes – try to try, try to try.

Sparks of pleasure, joy may animate me

now and then but nothing can rekindle

the fire in these sodden ashes. 

Try to try, try to try.  The thorn in the kiss –

ubiquitous Shiva – time like water,

washing away, washing away

the smooth, black slate, running through my fingers.

Try to try, try to try, eternal soul in mortal breast,

doubting everything but the dilemma

and You say the dilemma is illusion.

Try to try, try to try.  To love God, try to try.

O child of God, your sword is made of fire.

Lay it at the feet of the Master.