A most holy pledge

A most holy pledge
 
I wish I could be content
with the repetition of Your name.
 
My heart is willing
but my mind is willful,
 
fixed in its old habit of ruling the roost,
of being the forward scout
 
making sure every bridge
I cross can bear the weight. 
 
My mind doesn’t easily relinquish its authority
nor abandon its routine sabotage of my heart.
 
But I lose You in the repetition of Your name.
I lose my place in the monologue it becomes.
 
And when You grant me some incongruity,
some paradox to explore, I am off on an adventure
 
that very often ends up in a poem. 
This poetry is my remembrance, my meditation,
 
a most holy pledge of my faithfulness
until the moment the two become One.
 
O child of God, how overwhelming it is
to picture myself as a pen held in the Master’s hand.