My deepest mystery

My deepest mystery
 
Don’t try to understand Me, said my Lord.  
Just as well!  After all these years
 
You are still my deepest mystery
and thus remain the very source of my faith. 
 
I’ve never been able to explain You away!
Self-declared Highest of the High
 
with Your love-indentured mandali
and a worldwide following
 
bent upon Your every word and what did You offer? 
Forty-four years of Silence, numerous broken promises,
 
unkept appointments and discarded plans.
A lifetime of teachings (which You insisted
 
You hadn’t come for), discourses, formal prayers,  
and the offer of a nothing that might prove
 
to be everything. And what did You
in Your Mastery take upon Yourself? 
 
Servitude, reclusion, itineracy and pain,
leaving me to ponder what was Your motive     
 
and where was Your reward?  Whisper
the answers to me, Lord, at Your leisure.
 

It's not doubts about You, my Lord,
that prevent my complete surrender.

It's the doubting of my own

worthiness and courage. 

O child of God, seek not explanations    
but a wordless quenching of your every query.