Giving myself up for dead

Giving myself up for dead  

                                                               

I got myself lost in the back country,
romping out of the barn on a jet black horse
 
just as day broke.  Rode wild and loose
for a long ways.  Lost my bearings.
 
I’ve nosed my old horse around ever since
studying every bleached-boned hint of a trail,
 
every wagon rut, dry gulch
cattle run that might lead home. 
 
At last I stumbled upon
an old ghost of a prospector
 
who advised me to drop the reins.
Let that tired, hungry horse under me
 
find its own way back to the stable.
I might not like the route or ride it takes,
 
but return, the old man said,
by giving myself up for dead;
 
by dropping all pride and purpose,
false hope, shallow expertise
 
to surrender completely,
beyond any intent or desire.
 
O child of God, not a trace of resistance!
Surrender tolerates no dishonesty.