The silence of which You spoke

The silence of which You spoke                                                         
 
It began on a Whim, You say –
Creation merely God’s game.
 
I try to reconcile this with what You also said –
no one suffers in vain.  True freedom
 
(again You say) is the raison d'être
including, presumably, freedom from suffering;
 
freedom from the whims of God. 
There is nothing to add from this one tiny mouth,
 
eyes looking up into the night sky. 
Perhaps, this is the silence of which You spoke,
 
coming to the end of hope,
reasonableness, accommodation;
 
where love begins, but how, o Lord?
Where do I turn from here?
 
The earth is round; I am unable to step over its edge
and plummet into Your timeless, infinite point of view.
 
O child of God, blow out your candle
to experience the true essence of the night.