Not this

Not this

Neti, neti goes the Gita;
not this, not this.

Try it after each phrase
in the Prayer of Repentance,

neti, neti - not what I expected, Lord -
not this; not what I meant to say;

it wasn't what I lacked after all;
it blew up in my face, Lord;

neti, neti - not what I'd hoped for;
insufficient, unsatisfactory;

lost now - slipped away;
not this, not this, Lord, not this -

not what I wanted;
not what's in my heart;

not at all what I'd envisioned.
Neti, neti; neti, neti -

the clock is ticking away
the moments of choice, attachment and hope;

the constant failures we speak of -
being fooled again and again

by illusions self-created
through our ignorance and limitations.

O child of God, to repent of our failures is to list
the illusions we fall for moment to moment.

                           (Unpublished)