The friend I never had
You are the (one true) friend
I never had; no one lived up to.
I won't let You go, heart's desire.
Roughed up, neglected, unrequited,
my ardor and adoration
skewed by the merely human
beautiful proxies, the imperfect worldly,
the palpable, ephemeral and immediate.
The implicit trust I could never pull off,
the intimacy I never had
the courage to enter into,
belongs to You, the true object
of my every failed desire and devotion.
It was You all along, all the time.
I won't let You go, heart's desire,
now that I have the truth
of Who You really are
in my sights at last.
O child of God, to let go of His damaan
is to come up bitterly empty-handed.