The first tick of time

The first tick of time                                                                                        
 
An abandoned water mill of some sort.
Trussed like a character in a movie spoof,
 
I’m just coming to, thirty feet of rope sheathing my body;
a bandanna gagging my mouth; my protruding hands
 
bound and arranged in prayer.
I’m not asking God for anything anymore.
 
God has answered my heartfelt prayer already.
He just so rarely ever gives me what I desire
 
which is never what I lack
but just another loop of the rope.
 
Swift, deep and final is the river
but even the decision to fall into it
 
is not mine to make.  So I linger above,
making a poor effort to live without effort,
 
hoping to forego all hope but only after I acquire
a mighty enough patience to last the rest of eternity.
 
O child, everything, everything, is and was
ordained by God in the first tick of time.